No more?

I just played bball at church tonite, and I feel like I've lost all my shot. It's like I have no more lift in my legs. My form was so bad tonite, I feel like I can't shoot properly anymore. No outside field goals. That's pretty sad. I still got some lay-ups tonite, but they're just lay-ups. I'm beginning to realize that I am at a crossroad. Either I try harder now to get back my shot, or I will just need to stop my time with bball and just concentrate with other things in life...like school, home, friends, church, and for sports, purely softball... So yea, no more bball? =S

Revival Night 2007

Revival night 2007 could have been the same revival night of 2006 or 2005. Whenever you hear of Revival Night, you would think of a service similar to a Praise and Prayer. That's what I had thought when tonight's program started, but as it went on, I knew it was THE service that would jumpstart my post-Urbana life.

The worship was wonderfully led by Justin and Kristen, but it wasn't their worship that ignited the fire I felt tonight. It was from the following passage:

"He was despised and rejected by others, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.
Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished."

-Isaiah 53:3-8

To understand the meaning of Revival is to understand how little and how small we are. Because of our sins and our failures, we are small compared to our Almighty God. Because of our weaknesses, we need our God to revive us so that we may be worthy of worship to Him. We need Revival because of who we are as sinners. This passage really helped me understand how Jesus suffered in order to grant us the salvation in His name. Just reading each verse and picturing how Jesus suffered would hopefully give you a good grasp of how Jesus took each pain in order for each one of us to come closer to Him.

The realization of how unworthy I am to my one and true Saviour allowed me to follow worship Him with all my heart. Who am I compared to Him? He gave me life. He gave me His blessings. He gave me my salvation to eternal life. And I still can't worship Him with all my heart? No! Even if I may seem like nothing to God, He sees me as something, and because of that I owe Him every single part of my life, including my worship. That is why tonight's worship was really the first time in a long time outside of Urbana where I could freely worship God with all my heart. I felt like nothing could hold me back. No worries in life could stop me from worshipping my true God and Saviour of my life. No one who saw that awkward guy with his arms raised up can change the focus I had on worshipping God. No matter how hot and uncomfortable I felt because I was sweating and felt really sick for the past week could stop me from just singing with my true heart to worship God. No matter if my body was tired and I needed to sit down to rest my legs and no matter how my throat wanted to rest from singing, would I stop singing tonight. I felt God. I felt my true worship. I let it all out. And I believe with all my heart that tonight, God was glorified for who He is.

I really pray that if anybody also felt the same was as me and was singing his/her heart out as me to really put that into practice. Worshipping to God should not be restricted to "Revival Nights". Worshipping to God is in every single action everyday for the rest of your life. I pray my heart out that every single person who was in the Sanctuary would mean every single word they sang out of their mouths. May God be blessed through our singing tonight and through every action we do for the rest of our lives.

Lord, 2007 is Your year to shine. Through every single one of us, we would light this world of darkness so that they may see Your light. May our worship be glorifying to Your name and may we continue our worship to You in everything You do.

Just like the passage above said, You suffered to save us. You alone are God who loves us and deserves all of our praise. I pray that everybody would remember that He saved us and He alone is our God.

Il m'a sauvé! Solo tu eres Dios!

Urbana 06

People say that there are things in life that you would've give up for anything. Well, Urbana 06 was the thing for me. It's not how awesome the opportunity was to be away with friends in another country for five days to just have fun. It's not how crazy the atmosphere was during countdown to 2007 with 22,000 other people. It's because of the growth and exposure I received at Urbana involving missions in my life and also God's calling for me.

"As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."
Ephesians 4:1-6

This passage was the theme for Urbana 06, with the specific verse being verse 1, where it says to "live a life worthy of the calling". I went to Urbana with open eyes, a willing heart, and a ready mind to learn and experience what God is calling for me in my life. I believe I received all of that and much more in the past week that will forever change my life.

Missions

I never really thought much about this to tell the truth. Yes, I do think about it, but not as much as I should, but that is how God works. He uses the unexpected to make His point, and through missions, God hit me in the head unexpectedly. During this Urbana experienced, I learned that there is a part of missions in me that I haven't really tapped into yet. My bro and my parents both have gone on missions trips before, so I guess I'm kind of the "late bloomer", but nonetheless, I finally see that part of my life in me. I feel that God has created something in me that still hasn't been used, and that when the time comes, I will be ready to go to wherever He calls me. It's just like the phrase Rick Warren spoke about on Saturday night at Urbana: "Whatever, Whenever, Wherever". Whatever God calls me to do, whenever God calls me to go, and wherever God calls me to go, I will go. It's that simple, and when the time comes, I will step out and take His challenge because He has called each and every one of us to GO. I'll be waiting for His call. I'll be ready to be His "workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph 2:10)

Relationship

Not only did I hear God's calling for me to look forward to missions, I also felt that God was calling me to take the upcoming few years as an opportunity to be single and just have that time to be fully devoted to God's work. I've been unsure of my relationship status for the longest time because I didn't really know for sure if God really wanted me to pursue with it or not, and the truth is that I did feel God's go-ahead, but I also made some decisions on my own. It's been a year and a half now, but I've finally had a big enough experience to realize that the relationship portion of my life is not in my hands, but in the bigger and more powerful almighty hands of the one true Lord of my life. It's not something for me to worry about because in reality, my life was created by God, and whatever I do should be what He wants of me. God has a plan for me, and obviously the time will come when I will pursue, but right now, my calling from God is to focus on Him to do His work. Therefore, I've finally come to my senses that the confusion of the status is over, and I've finally let go of her. It's hard because she has pretty much all the qualities I've ever wanted in a girl, but I choose to and will eventually not like her anymore, because God has called me to leave that behind to take the hard road and be uncomfortable, and leave my "Haran"s away. I know these next few weeks/months/years will be extremely hard in that the devil will do everything in His power to take me away from this path, but I know that I have all the strength because "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" (Phil 4:13).

Some of you may say that from all of this Urbana experience that I've changed. It's a "new" Tim. But the truth is that it isn't a new Tim. It's still the same Tim who you've all known except for one thing. It's finally the real Tim. I'm finally able to feel my true passion for the Lord. I finally understand His role in my life, and that He is the one who directs every single aspect of my life. No more 99% with God and 1% with me. It's 100% with God now. God does not demand the most out of us. He demands everything, and now I've realized that and I give up everything to Him. God has a wonderful plan for me, and I really believe in that more than ever after this Urbana experience. I know He will carry me through the trials in life, and I know He will rejoice with me in the good times. No matter what, I will never stray from this path towards honouring His glory. Nothing can stop me from living a life worthy of His calling.

Il m'a sauve. Solo tu eres Dios. His calling. My calling.