Baseball's DL includes players with wacky injuries

By Mike Lopresti USA TODAY
6/29/2005 1:30:00 PM

It's a jungle out there in major league baseball. Dangerous laundry carts. Malicious water coolers. Treacherous recliners. Hazardous pillow feathers. And the victims are beginning to stack up.

The latest casualty, you may have heard, was Pittsburgh pitcher Oliver Perez, breaking his toe kicking a laundry cart after a disappointing start. Which just goes to show you the peril of taking out your displaced aggression on a bunch of dirty socks.

That followed by only a few days Texas ace Kenny Rogers, reportedly displeased at the umpire, breaking a finger while attacking a water cooler. He makes about $90,000 per start and missed his next game, so you could buy a loaded Hummer with one Rogers temper tantrum.

This season also included Colorado rookie phenom Clint Barmes, shelved by a broken collarbone incurred when lugging deer meat up apartment-house steps. The official medical term for that, I believe, is Bambi's Revengititis.

Then there was Chicago reliever Mike Remlinger, getting his finger caught in a clubhouse recliner. And Minnesota's Terry Mulholland rolling over in a hotel bed and having his eye poked by an unruly pillow feather.

Clearly, the baseball world is a risky place, and players are pretty expensive assets. What are the owners to do? Perhaps some new contract addendums might help.

The following - as safeguards against some of the most storied injuries of baseball's past - should be added to all standard contracts.

Immediately, too. Before the soda machine hurts an infielder.

Paragraph 1. If the signee wishes to exercise, it must be on a track, sidewalk or other non-moving surface (the Moises Alou clause: He missed the entire 1999 season after reportedly blowing out his knee on a treadmill).

Paragraph 2. No sneezing on game days (the Sammy Sosa clause, having once ka-chooed his way to back spasms).

Paragraph 3. Don't even think about doing wheelies on a motorcycle (the Jeff Kent clause).

Paragraph 3A. And if you do and break something, never mind the lame alibi that you were hurt while washing your truck.

Paragraph 4. Signee should avoid the use of sharp objects without adequate supervision (the Adam Eaton clause: Trying to open a DVD package, the San Diego pitcher stabbed himself in the stomach with a paring knife).

Paragraph 5. Only foam pillows allowed.

Paragraph 6. Club dress code will include only Velcro tennis shoes or loafers (the Wade Boggs clause: He hurt his back straining to put on cowboy boots).

Paragraph 7. On rainy days, signee will stay at least 100 yards away from all tarps (the Vince Coleman clause: He was knocked out of the 1985 playoffs for St. Louis after a mean-spirited automatic tarp rolled over him).

Paragraph 8. Signee will try to avoid ripping a phone book in half. Or if he must, use a book from a town no larger than Ames, Iowa (the Steve Sparks clause: Inspired by a motivational session with the Milwaukee Brewers, which included the demonstrators tearing apart phone books, the re-energized Sparks raced home, tried to do the same thing and dislocated his shoulder).

Paragraph 9. Signee should always take his shirt off before ironing it (the John Smoltz clause, more popularly known as the "some-knucklehead-will-try-anything" proviso: Smoltz once attempted to iron his shirt while wearing it and scalded his chest, which may or may not be the origin of the pitching term "high heat").

Paragraph 10. No gambling, drugs, or recliners allowed in the clubhouse.

Paragraph 11. Elevator required when carrying venison or other groceries. Or better yet, eat out.

Paragraph 12. Lastly, be nice to the water cooler and laundry cart, and they will be nice to you.

shopping, bball

wow....havent been to stc since watching star wars III, and before that, i havent been to stc in AGES! hahah....so it was fun....except the music store at stc didnt hav drumsticks that martin wanted to buy, so went all the way to yonge street to a "just drums" store to get those drumsticks hahahha.....the only reason i remember it cuz of walking to aivory's cotillion a few weeks ago, so the walk actually was useful! haha...thats so weird, but newayz, i actually went bballin at nite....9-11pm i think hahaha....never went out to bball this late, but gotta get used to it, cuz im gonna do alot of that in the future...and plus, it was fun....couldve gone one or two more hours except i had to go home hahah......it was a fun day....
raps got charlie villanueva with 7th overall pick....hope he's good...i think joey graham will be awesome.....we got a steal in our 16th overall pick! =) too bad we didnt draft juan mendez...

The Killers - Hot Fuss

this cd is so awesome!!!! wow.....ever since i got it, its been one of my fave cds, and now i think it has become my fave cd!!!! the songs are so catchy...and they make me feel better all the time.....hm.... HOT FUSS = MY FEEL GOOD CD!!!! hahhahahahha u guys all hafto listen to this cd.... its so gooooooood!!!!!!!! it's also a perfect car cd....makes me wanna drive fast cuz the songs are so rockingly uptempo!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAH wow...the killers are for real!

SA SPURS 2005 NBA CHAMPS!!!

yeaaaaaaaaaa San Antonio Spurs won the NBA FINALS!!!!! Congrats to the new NBA champs!!! crazy clutch shooting by Duncan and Ginobili.....too bad for Detroit, cuz they put up a good fight, especially Rasheed Wallace, but yea, Duncan was too dominant, with Ginobili doing his thing and Horry and Barry with crazy bench points!!! hahhaha Spurs...CHAMPS!!! =D so happy, cuz i picked them to win in 7!!!!!!!!!! hehehehheheheeheh yayyyyyy go spurs go!!! Ginobili for FINALS MVP!!! but it'll be Duncan, most likely! HAHA

Part 2

Part 1 is over. It's been sealed, but before it will be officially finished, I just wanna dedicate one last song: "Here's My Heart" by Out of Eden. I'm ready for Part 2. Let Part 2 be of greater worth and pleasure than Part 1, and hopefully, a Part 3 will follow.

Letting Go...for God

MSN screen name should say it all:
tim I need your help God...it's Your turn to truly shine in me
crying tears of joy...you'll always be my star...thank you for everything

Thanks for all the memories and moments, and it's better we move on with our own individual walks with God. You'll always be the awesome little person in my life. God bless you as you move on.

God, give me strength, comfort, patience, and love. I need you more than ever, God, and I know You're there with me. Guide me to put everything into Your hands and to trust in You. Lead our lives as we move on.

Your Servant,
Tim (Brother in Christ)

The Change

Aside from Vitamin C - "Graduation (Friends Forever)", which is still a special song for me that has been true to what I've been feeling...

2 weeks ago: Mariah Carey "We Belong Together"
last week: Howie Day "Collide" (again)
this week: Frankie J "Don't Wanna Try" and Three Days Grace "I Hate Everything About You"

tcard and aivory's party

heheh today was fun....went to UofT robart's library and got my TCARD!!! hahaha and surprisingly, the picture actually looked half decent! if u've seen my other pictures and cards with pictures, u know that my pics always turn out bad, but this tcard has to be one of the decent pics i hav ever had!!!! =)
next was aivory's party! hahah now that was alot of fun! wow..... aivory's parents are so nice and rich hahahahah cuz they had this super formal-ish party!!! and so much plannin.... mike was an awesome MC!!! (emcee?) and the nite went super well....food was nice, and slideshow was SOOOOOOOOOO funny!!! hahahahahah....aivory loooooked super beautiful too hahahah yes, so happy bday aivory, when u read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GRAD NITE

last nite was crazy! hahahhahah the ceremony went well, even tho the place was super stuffy and hot, but it was nice to pick up an award hahaha... yea...... geo, E, and joy stole hte show! hahhaha but it was all good.... seriously, i cant believe last nite was the last time i will see some ppl, but its also the final goodbye for pca... haha yea... so sad, but bbt last nite was fun! hahahaahh geo with the crazy trick for hiu and laps.... HAHAHAHHA yea.... and then at geo's place, where laps was SAUSAGE KING! hahahhahahah that was crazy.... yup.... and i cant believe i went from geo's house to my house in 15 minutes.... hahahah at 2:30 AM!!!!! yup.. .i stayed out even longer last nite than prom nite... HAHAHAHAHHHAAH =)

Try this...

One problem with our praying is that we spend more time discussing it than doing it. So the rest of today's devo is up to you. Before going on to something else, fill in the blanks and pray for a friend:
Friend's Name: ____________________________
What I know is going on with this person today: _________________________________________
What I know about God as it relates to my friend's need: _________________________________________
Lord, with this in mind, I pray that You would . . . _________________________________________
so that Jesus Christ may be glorified. Amen.

***GRADUATION TOMORROW!!!!!!!***

campbell visit

hahahah today's sneak/trespass into campbell was alot of fun! hahahhaahahah martin and i schooled security! either that...or security really sucked...and ithink its the latter! hahahahah so yea, got to eat lunch with the campbell 12s for 1st lunch and then the campbell 9s for 2nd lunch. HAHHAHAAHA yea...campbell is an ok school...nothing extraordinary about it! hahahah but it was still alot of fun today! =)

Revenge of the Sith...Wonderland!!!

hahah wow...past two days was so much fun!!!! First watched STAR WARS III: Revenge of the Sith, and that was so awesome, even tho the script was REALLY REALLY BADDDDD hahaha but the fighting was good....and R2-D2 was so funny!!!!! hahah i loved that robot! hahahah and yea... wonderland today, and that was so much fun as well cuz we went on almost every ride!!! hahahah cliffhanger was the best cuz they turned the water ON!!! hahahahh 5 degrees celcius water, so it cooled us down so good! hahahah yea.... these two days have been a blast! great way to start off SUMMER 2005!!!!!!!

last day ever as a student at pca...

wow....this year has gone by so fast.....nooo, these eleven years at pca has gone by so fast.... and now i am a pca alumni...well, not really until after i graduate, but still, i have survived pca, and now its summer before uni.....wow... ACTUALLY DONE HIGH SCHOOL!!!! hahahahhaha we all need to party this last summer together!!! wow... so many high school memories... from ottawa, school retreats, halifax, chapels, insidejokes, dissingfoo, KP/CP, problems, exams, studyin, stressin, gee tests, lee tests, prom, final exams, and soon to be graduation... woow.... gotta thank God for all of this, and i will truly miss all the great times.... pca's been great, and now its time to move on! SUMMER 2005 IS HERE!!!!!!

Got this from allie and mike's blog...

Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong...
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A best friend doesn't have to.
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A best friend says, "What's new with you?"
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A best friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A best friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A best friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A best friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A best friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A best friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A best friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A best friend expects to always be there for you!