The real-life Sheldon Cooper?

So I'm in Illinois right now and I believe I've encountered the real-life Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. OK...maybe more like a Sheldon-Raj-Howard combo because although this dude is really really REALLY smart (and obnoxious in a really nerdy way), he's also pretty dirty, and he's Indian, so hence, a mix of Sheldon, Raj, and Howard!

Here are some awesome quotes I've gotten from him so far:

"You are all genetically inferior."
-Speaking to the undergrads here

"If I'm not nasty enough, then I'm probably busy visualizing anal sex."
-That's a Howard right there

"There are no true limits to great achievements, and if you let your 'friends' tell you otherwise, you can bet you'll be sorry when you look back on how you lived your life."
-No friends...hm...SHELDON!

"I'm desperate to order the new Playboy June edition but its either that or groceries. Don't know which is worse: being sex-starved or simply starved."
-Pure Howard

"It's fashionable to be notorious."
-Howard?!

"I have a 'seventh' sense implant in my brain called the porn probe. It starts beeping if anyone in the room is sexually stimulated (if it's me, there's a stronger detection device between my legs). Right now, its beeping like crazy. Someone in this lab is sure as hell turned on, and it aint me."
-More dirty stuff

"You Americans are fat and obese because you eat hamburgers all day. We Indians are healthy because we eat basmati rice."
-Sheldon/Raj?

"I find as I grow older that I am only attracted to bionic women. Or vampires. And definitely metallic boobs."
-Howard

"Talent is like the flower that is never crushed by the rock. But that doesnt mean it can't stay hidden UNDER the rock."
-Sheldon

"I have within me components that defy all manner of human definition."
-Sheldon

"Differential equations turn me on. They are like mathematical simulations of diverse and debauch sexual acts. The opposite is true for C programs, however."
-So nerdy and dirty

"The only way to rid government of corruption is to place robots in the stead of human beings. Truth to tell, that would solve a lot of other problems as well."
-I think the actual Sheldon might have said something like that

"I was told today that I induce an inferiority complex in some people."
-Pure Sheldon

"Having a philosophic argument is like driving a Lamborghini at 190 and having sex at the same time on the Illinois freeway...u just don't know when it's gonna veer outta control."
-Pure Howard

"The American dream is to succeed through hard work and live happy, successful lives. The Indian dream is to be prosperous and make babies."
-Pure Raj haha

"Chairman Mao had it right: it's a good thing to be attacked by the enemy, else how are you gonna prove you're way better?"
-Pure Sheldon