For God Only

Today I went to the HK church that I havent been to since the last time I visited HK, and although the service was all in chinese, I still understood most of it. So whats so interesting about today's church visit? Well its cuz tears of joy came out again. Yea..this does make me kinda "weak"...hahah I mean...two straight weeks at church where I cried?! (doesnt include last week when I was on the plane to HK) Anyways..the reason I HAD to mention this was that these past two times when I cried during the singspirations of both services....its cuz they were the first few times I felt Gods hands around me, comforting me admist the emotional struggles I was having. What He showed me during the times of worship were so amazing, I felt I had to type it on here, thus sharing it to those who read my blog. He started with the introduction opening verses: Psalm 92:4-5. These verses just opened my heart and my eyes to the wonderful works God has created in this world and also those that He has shown through me. I look at all the blessings He has given me, and I wonder to myself why I am still struggling emotionally when He has given me so much already. The opening song for the service was, rightfully, GIVE THANKS, which was a song I havent heard in a long while, but God surprises you in mysterious ways, and through this song, God allowed me to appreciate all He has given me. All of this made me break down because I have wrongfully left God away from the important things in my life. For the past year, I have been holding onto everything I have had by the rope in one hand, and in my other hand, I have been holding onto another rope that I had hoped it was God. But I was more focused on what I has holding in my first hand, which was everything I have worked hard for in my life, without even looking at God, who was patiently holding onto the second rope, waiting for me to put my focus back on him. But since the axe fell earlier this summer, my first rope has deceased to a single strand, and yet, I still hung onto it and kept my full focus onto it, despite God being on the second rope. But today, I remembered what a friend had told me earlier, and that is "To love is to be able to let go". I actually took this in two different meanings. Firstly, if I were to love someone, I had to be able to let it go. I have still been struggling in this, and it is the reason why I hung onto this mere thread. But the second, more important meaning was that to love God is to be able to let go of everything in life. I ignored my hold on the second rope because I wasnt willing to let go of everything in life. But now, God has shown me that His hand has been stretched out towards me ever since the day I was born. He has been by my side through every single success and every single trial. He has been there, patiently waiting, for me to let go of my hold on the things in life, and just reach out and grab His hand and to put my full trust in Him. Well, today is the day when I have decided to let go of that tiny thread and to grab hold of His outstretched hand and to trust in God in everything in my life. Ephesians 2:10 says that I am God's workmanship created in Jesus Christ to do good works which God has prepared in advance for me to do. In order to do His good works, I must trust in God, and now I give up everything in my life for Him. I have been blessed so much that I need nothing in this world but Jesus alone. Who would have known that at CM training two weeks ago, I had learned that "Having everything in life with Jesus is the same has having Jesus alone" would actually be applicable on my HK trip. So far, I have only been a week away from toronto, and I have already learned so much because God has shown my blessings, and also opened my eyes to the needs of the people of this world. I see my relatives, and although they seem satisfied in life, deep inside, their hearts crave for something everlasting. They need Jesus. I walk on the HK streets, and there are so many gloomy faces. They need Jesus. Who am I to be sad over my own problems. I need to give everything to God and leave all my worries for Him to take care of. I hope I can uphold this promise because seriously, everything I do should be FOR GOD ONLY. That will be my purpose in life from now on. For God Only. No more self-decisions in life...no more self-decisions in desires...no more self-decisions in love. I now rest my heart, my love, my life into Gods hands, because everything is For God Only.